7 parenting tips to get your child to be a good listener.

If parents received a dollar for every time they told their children to “pay attention” or “you need to be a good listener,” there would be wealthy parents worldwide if you struggle to get your child to be a good listener, welcome to parenthood!

1. Set a good example.

Children are constantly learning and picking up on their parents' habits. So, if you want to change your children's behavior, the first place to start is with yourself. Make sure when your child or another family member is speaking, you are engaged and do not interrupt. Get the whole family involved, and make it a family rule that you listen intently to others when they are speaking.

2. Reassure your child that you are not ignoring them.

A simple gesture of affirmation might be enough to keep your child happy and attentive while you finish a conversation with another adult or give your child instructions. Try taking your child’s hand and saying, “I can’t wait to hear what you have to say, but I’m not finished talking yet.” You could also give your child a pen and paper or dry-erase board so they can write what they want to say to prevent them from forgetting when it’s finally their turn to speak.

3. Avoid labeling your child a poor listener.

As hard as it is while frustrated with your child's poor listening skills, it's far more valuable to remind yourself and them that it is simply a skill that takes practice. Too often, we identify bad behavior as an innate flaw when it is just a talent to be honed. Reward them with praise for the specific things they do to show they are listening. This will encourage them to improve their skills despite their frustrations. 

4. Use repetition to make it stick.

Before you give your child a lengthy explanation or set of instructions, take a moment to organize your thoughts. It also helps if you briefly introduce what you will talk about to help corral their focus. Then, when you finish with the details, summarize what you’ve just said. This method will help make the information stick better in your child’s mind.

You may even go a step further by asking your child to repeat what you’ve said in their words. Your child will have to work at translating what you’ve said into their own words, which helps them internalize the message. It doesn’t have to be detailed, just practical. The added layer of repetition doesn't hurt, either.

5. Have your child take notes while you talk.

Before you give instructions or a lengthy explanation, you can hand your child a paper and pen and tell them that you have something important you want them to remember. Explain that taking notes will help them remember it easier. Taking notes, in itself, is a great skill to learn. Your child will also have a written reminder of what you said that they can refer to if they get stuck.

6. Engage all the senses.

Perhaps your child isn’t having trouble listening. Perhaps your child retains information better when seeing rather than hearing it. Or perhaps your child needs to touch or hold whatever you are discussing. For example, instead of just listing all the chores that need to be done, try setting out the related tools and objects in the proper order. Bring out the broom the rake and a toy to signify “sweeping,” “raking,” and “picking up toys.” Let your child hold each item while you are giving instructions.

7. Reward good behavior.

Kids are best motivated by working towards a goal. And what better goal than to let them select their prize? By using a universal wishlist like Wishfinity, families can build a comprehensive list of all desired things, no matter which brand or store. Once the child has mastered a new lifeskill, reward them with their hard-earned wish.